Funny Best Man Quotes

Most Best Man speeches at weddings are made memorable by the addition of a witty quote or two. Add some lively spirit to your Best Man’s speech with a funny quote. Choose from the following ten favorite funny quotes and alter them to fit your own situation or that of the newly married couple.

1. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone. - Anthony Burgess

2. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it. - Helen Roland

3. In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced. - Helen Rowland

4. It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.

5. Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass. - French Proverb

6. Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house. - Jean Kerr

7. The problem with being best man at a wedding is that you never get a chance to prove it.

8. Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. - Stephen Leacock

9. Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one. - Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancée

10. I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. - Dick Martin

Feel free to modify the last one to your liking and take care to use it as a joke on yourself, and not anyone else!

Looking for more help with your Best Man Wedding speech? Get more Sample Best Man Wedding Speeches and Wedding Toast ideas.

Wedding Speech Products

If writing your wedding speech on your own is going to be too tough, did you know that you can actually purchase speech writing kits? That's right - These kits come with pre-written speeches that can be easily edited and customized to your unique situation. Check out Wedding Speeches for more info.